Monday, November 18, 2013
Thursday, November 14, 2013
^^ Grey's Breakfast^^
While skimming through one of my favorite blogs the other day, the writer shared photos from a recent family trip to visit her fiancées family. Her soon to be brother in law has a few children and she mentioned how quickly she realized that your days and nights are not your own when you become a parent. So true. Though Grey has been sleeping through the night since he was about two or three months old, I still don't sleep the way I used to. Even in my sleep, I'm not fully relaxed. The slightest movement from him and I jump out of my sleep. Not to mention that he now gets up in the wee hours of the morning to watch his dad get ready for work. By the time my husband leaves and we go back to bed, it's time for me to get up again to take my sister to school. And why don't babies understand day light savings or weekends? My now 10 month old son is the boss of my life. He controls when I wake up, when I go to sleep, how much sleep I get, and what I can and cannot do throughout the day.
I remember prior to becoming a mother, I'd watch my sister with her girls and I'd wonder how she did it. How does a woman become so selfless and tend to the every waking need of these little people? Yet it's become second nature to me and I find myself doing the same without a second thought.
Grey is quickly approaching toddlerhood and I find myself running behind him all day, figuring out his diet for the next stage, and planning his first birthday party. On some days I even think about adding another baby to the mix. Keyword: Thinking...not trying!
When it's all said and done, I absolutely love being a mother. Motherhood is one of the few areas in my life where I feel absolutely fulfilled. There are certainly challenges but my instincts always lead me out the tunnel...even if I get poop or baby food on my clothes in the process.
I'm trying to work on making other areas of my life as gratifying as being a mom, and it's all coming together slowly but surely. I've even applied for an internship in the field that I desire to start a career in - I've been praying about it like crazy. In the meantime, I'm trying to take life day by day, and doing my best to stay focused on my fitness journey. Today actually marks 4 years since I've gotten married and it blows my mind when I think about all that's happened since then. I can't wait to celebrate this weekend, even though I'm sad at the thought of spending a night away from the baby.
The relaunch/redesign of this blog is coming soon but I've unfortunately hit a little road block. It's on it's way though!
What's Been Going On With You Lately?
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
This past weekend, my little cousin Banana came to Florida for a short trip. Ok, so her real name isn't Banana, but that's what I've always called her and will continue to do so no matter how old she gets. There was a time in my life when Banana and I lived together. When families migrate to The States (and other places) they typically leave their child(ren) in the care of a trusted family member or friend while they get settled in a new country. While my mom was away getting work and a place for us to live, I stayed behind in Jamaica with Banana (her dad is my moms big brother). It was an interesting time. As much as I loved her, I often found myself locking myself in the bathroom for hours while she would wait patiently outside the door for me. She wanted to be with me all the time, but as a child who was used to having her own personal space - it was a lot for me. I'm still that way at times, although now there is a 9 month old who crawls and follows my every move. Though I would later join my mom for a new life in America, Banana and I have always remained close. Due to her intense studies back home, I haven't seen her since my wedding so I couldn't have been happier to spend time with her.
When my aunt asked her where she wanted to go for dinner, she chose the most random place - Golden Corral (girl, what?). I mean...of all the places in America, you wanna go to the buffet? I didn't want to be the prima-donna, so I kept my mouth shut and went along. We had the best time! We even got to Skype with our older cousin Phillip who is currently attending school in Trinidad. We reminisced about living together, we talked about what she'd like to do when she graduates and I just couldn't be prouder of the young lady she's become. She's so beautiful, intelligent and has the warmest personality.
Having her here made me want to book a trip back home immediately. I haven't been back to Jamaica since 2007 for my aunts funeral. My husband has been several times in the past few years, even going just a few months ago - but unfortunately, mainly for funerals as well. We'd originally planned on visiting this year but things have been so crazy and bills are coming from everywhere. We're hoping to finally make it out there as a family next summer. Grey will only be a toddler, but we'd love to show him where his parents are from and introduce him to more family. His grandparents, and cousins can't wait to meet him. Plus, mama hasn't been on a real vacation in years and I could really use one.
Grey is now 9 months old! He weighs 19 pounds, 6 ounces and measures at 28 inches long. He has two bottom teeth and there are a bunch waiting in the wings to sprout at any moment. Lucky for us, he's a great teether and finds comfort in biting our arms. We can certainly deal with that as opposed to fevers, and a cranky baby. He also crawls and "walks around" by holding on to furniture. Clapping is one of his favorite things in life, he will burst out in laughter if everyone else is laughing and if you talk to him in a whisper he'll whisper back. And because his birthday will be here before we know it, I've already settled on a theme and am going to start planning his party really soon!
Oh yea! Thank you for sharing your well wishes and experiences on my "Working Mama" post. I'm surviving.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
I enjoy being at home with my baby. I really enjoy it. I love falling asleep together, waking up next to him, feeding him, playing and having "conversation". He's such a joy and the sweetest baby that I feel so Blessed to be able to call my son. For me, going back to work is more financial based than being bored at home. Sure, sometimes I crave a little time with other adults, but for the most part I actually enjoy being a stay at home mom. Yesterday I found out that I got a job that practically fell in my lap out of nowhere and while I'm grateful and ready to start this next chapter, I woke up equally as sad about this morning. Things are going to change. I don't know if I'm ready. Grey and I have been attached to hip for the past 9 months, I hardly go anywhere without him. Mothers go to work everyday, it can work - but I don't know anything else as a mother except being at my child's beck and call 24/7. I'm sure it won't be that bad and when I get down I just have to remind myself why I'm doing this. Ultimately it's because I want to eventually be home with him again but I'd feel comfortable with more financial cushion and a few things paid off. Tomorrow starts a new beginning, but also the countdown to the doing what I know I'm really called to do. I'm excited, nervous and sad all at the same time. Wish me luck.
HOW DID YOU DEAL WITH GOING BACK TO WORK?
Thursday, September 26, 2013
This time last week we randomly found ourselves on a road trip to Tampa. There's nothing I live for more than spontaneity these days, so I pretty much invited myself and got a day out the house.
After months of tediously filling out ridiculously long applications and drafting cover letter only to not get any response besides the occasional rejection letter, I'm over it. Seriously, it's not good for my self esteem. After my rant to a friend, she replied, "the rejection is not a reflection of your awesomeness". I know this to be true, but like most 20 somethings, I'm still trying to figure out where I belong and achieve the dreams that I have for myself. While it can be a draining to constantly have doors slammed in my face, I know that I haven't gained employment at these places for a reason. While I try to figure out what that reason is, and take a little break from the job search game, I've decided to really embrace being a stay at home mom (while still planning for world domination of course).
I've come to realize that whenever I get really down and negative it's because I'm looking at all the things that I want but haven't acquired, and my failures, as opposed to being grateful for what I do have. I'm trying to find somewhere in the middle of being content and grateful while still having goals and dreams. Does that place exist? How do I get there?
That's my current struggle.
Thursday, September 19, 2013
When I was pregnant and living in NYC, I told myself that needed to be living in Florida by the time Jolie was ready for school. I dreamt of us owning a decent sized home with a good sized yard for her to play and things like that just don't happen in the city. I ended up in Florida - minus Jolie - but now Grey is here, and I haven't worked full time since getting pregnant with him. Over the past few months I began applying for full time positions only to have a constant flow of rejection letters in my inbox. To be honest though, I can barely find anything to apply for here and have been applying for jobs back in Manhattan as well. I know - it seems like I'm always moving. I'm not planning a move per se, but if I were to land one of these positions that I've built up in my head to be my dream jobs (that all so happen to be in the city) I'd be willing to relocate to pursue the career that I've dreamt about for years. Things would be different now as I've never lived in New York with a baby. This would involve strollers and stairs in the subway, smaller living quarters and getting creative with entertainment when the temperature drops - all the things I never wanted to do the first time I was with child. Now the thought doesn't seem so bad. Other moms do it everyday! While I don't know if I'll ever hear from these places, here or up there, I do know that change is coming. Good change...financial breakthrough...because it has to happen. Like I said however, I'm giving myself a deadline with these applications and then it's on to Plan B.
While I'm in limbo, be sure to check out the blogs of some of my favorite city mamas:
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Despite the fact that my husband has never been into celebrating his birthday (or anything really), I always do my best to do something to show my appreciation. It's much different now than it was a few years ago however. Back then it was about putting on something sexy for dinner or over the top surprise trips to Las Vegas to celebrate. This year it was realizing that I needed to comb my hair for the first time in two weeks so that I didn't go in public looking crazy, making sure that my mom could watch the baby for us that night and the both of us trying to stay awake during our meal. We dined at Big City Tavern for the first time (steak, fries, kale salad & Voss water for me - some kind of crab cake jambalaya and Heineken's for him) and I practically inhaled the calamari that we were supposed to be sharing for appetizer. We had a good night but of course we had to catch ourselves from talking about Grey or my husbands job for the entire night - but really, what else is going on? This is our life now - birthday dinners close to home and the aquarium for the win! Parenthood, better know as "the ultimate turn down". Not complaining though :)