I'm having commitment issues and cold feet...

... not about getting married, but about having a wedding.

Now that deposits are being made and contracts are being signed, I'm starting to realize how much this shing dig is actually going to cost. Although I'm way below the national average, I still feel like I'm spending a million dollars.
I feel selfish for having this wedding...am I the only person to ever feel this way?
At this point it's early enough to get out and still make my way down to City Hall, lol.
I'm also scared that the day is going to sneak up on me and I won't have enough money to pay off any of the balances.
PHOTOGRAPHY & VIDEO (UPDATE): So I ended up putting a small deposit down for the photo/video company that I had my heart set on from the beginning. I haven't signed the contract yet, but my date is being held with that deposit. I was dead set on them and was really excited about my decision to work with them. The excitement wore off, reality is kicking in and I'm starting to wonder if I made the right decision. I'm wondering if I went overboard with my choice. I knew I wanted to "splurge" on photo and video, but I'm not feeling too good about it anymore.
DRAMA WITH THE DJ: Originally I planned on hiring the DJ that played at my aunts wedding and other functions that she's hosted. He plays great music and is EXTREMLY AFFORDABLE. The problem with him was that he wasn't licensed, so I had to move on and find someone who had the proper documentation. I found a reputable company that I decided to go with, we had great chemistry and he has played at my venue on several occassions. Perfect! I put my deposit down and crossed booking the DJ off my list.
The other night I get a call from my aunt telling me that the (original) DJ went ahead and got his insurance so that he could play at the wedding. She also told me his price (which is HALF of what he other guy was charging me) and said that she would pay for it. My first thought..."^%*@!". I had already given the DJ company a $100 deposit and signed a contract. I was planning on also having them do my uplighting so I thought that perhaps I could put my $100 deposit towards that instead- nope, I have to get something of equal or greater value. More "@#$%"!
My aunt is offering to pay for the other guy, so obviously I'm going to go with that option, instead of paying for the more expensive guy out of my own pocket. I know $100 may not seem like a lot, but to me it's kind of a big deal. I know the man conducts his business a certain way and I can respect that but .... jeez! Help a sista out man! lol
FLOWERS: Yesterday I stopped by the florist shop next my job - I went in, introduced myself, told her I worked next door and that I would be needing her services. Sidebar: This company is the best in Fort Lauderdale, but I figured I could get a deal on the price since I work next door and she is friends with my boss. I made sure to tell her that I'm on a budget! Now that I've met with a couple vendors I feel the need to say that upfront so that they don't waste their time telling me about things I can't afford. They always ask me what kind of budget, my response is always "I'm a college student and my fiance has been laid off his job" - they always get the picture - honesty is the best policy right? No shame in my game.
We sat down and got down to cost effective options, this is what I showed her for my color inspiration:

For the quality flowers that they use I'm getting a great deal. The florist was really nice and very understanding of my needs. The prices that she gave didn't make me cringe at all since I'm going to do something simple for the ceremony and most of the reception stuff I can do by myself. What I mostly need her for are the bouquets, the boutenierres (I know I spelt that wrong, I'll make a correction before I turn 50) and I little set up for the alter. I might be able to wheel and deal a little more once I make my official appointment and final decisions.
Uuuuhhh - City Hall would save my sanity!
{photo credit: THE KNOT}


EliandMe said...

Oh honey, I know exactly where you are coming from - sometimes I daydream about what we could have done with all the money we have saved for the wedding (which like you say, in the grand scheme of things is really very little). Just remember that you made those decisions for a very good reason and trust your heart.

Don't worry about the photographer splurge - see it less as spending on the wedding, and more in investing in beautiful artwork for your home that will last a lifetime.

And the DJ situation is a pain, but even though you are losing $100 I imagine by the time your aunty has paid for the other DJ you are actually going to be in credit wedding budget wise.

Also, can I just say, those colours... gorgeous. Really.


You're right about the photo and video, I made the choice to splurge on it because it's the only thing we're going to have left when the actual event is over. I knew what kind of quality I wanted - I have to look at them for the rest of my life, I should be in love with it, lol. This morning I feel better about it, yesterday was just "one of those days" I guess.

I'm determined to work something out with that DJ so that I don't loose my money - it wouldn't hurt to try one more time, lol

Ashlyn Carter said...

Hi! I found your blog - too cute girl! Love it! Thank's for stopping by. Happy planning and good luck overcoming those planning "humps"...enjoy this time! i love it! * Ashlyn

futuremrsj said...

I've been feeling the same way--even though we're getting a lot of stuff for free (photography, band, officiant) this is still a big expense and with the way the economy is I sometimes feel selfish, too. But then my friends calm me down and say "You deserve this!" So I listen to them.


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