Beautiful Me.

Sometimes my fiance will randomly look at me and say "You're so beautiful."Me? Beautiful? Really?

I've always had a weird complex about my looks. I began suffering from acne when I was 8 years old which made me very self concious. I've literally spent my life in the chairs of various dermatologists and estheticians - they'd pick at my face, squeeze it, clean it and after the swelling went down and the tears were gone I'd almost feel pretty... but after a couple days I'd go back to normal. My cabinets were filled with face washes and astringents that would work for a couple days and then my skin would get use to it. Frustration. Frustration. Frustration. As a child I can remember being called ugly... by other children as well as adults.

After years of experimenting I finally got my acne under control which improved my self esteem...but I still wouldn't consider myself BEAUTIFUL. In my mind, that word was reserved for the likes of beauty queens - not the girl who would look like pizza face if she missed one day of her face cleaning rituals...not the girl who people called ugly.

Now in my 20's I am comfortable with the way I look. In Oct 2007 I went home to Jamaica and while I was there made a quick stop at the estheticians spa that I had pretty much grown up in. I felt so alive and refreshed after leaving there - it inspired me to get more in depth in skincare. By that December I enrolled myself in a skincare specialty course and later graduated as Florida State Liscened Esthetician.

A few months after graduation I was helping a customer at work when she told me "You have such beautiful skin!"... I was the only other person in the room with her - I was speechless. I will never forget that. If only that woman knew what those few kind words really meant to me.

I got into skin care and makeup not only to learn how to take care and beautify my skin but to also help others one day - especially children and teenagers.

I'd never been used to be even being called pretty and now the man of my dreams tells me I'm beautiful..and you know what - I'm finally believing it.


AmyJean {Relentless Bride} said...

That is absolutely awesome that you have a man who recognizes your beauty! And it warms my heart to hear you say that you are believing it... b/c girl, you are BEAUTIFUL!!! :)

T. E. C. said...

And he couldn't be more right!!! I've always thought you were beautiful and used to wonder why all your pics were from various angles (but not face forward). I used to say to myself, "she should really look straight at the camera because she is so pretty." But then I charged it off to either you wanted privacy in the blog world or you were just crative with your photography. I mean the spent the first 2 months reading your blog looking at you and your fiance's back walking in the sand. LOL
Anyway, I think you'r really pretty and I am happy that the man of your dreams thinks your beautiful also. That's an awesome feeling!

Most importantly, I am glad that you are now believing it too!

WideEyedBride said...

Awww It's good to know other brides feel the same way leading up to the big day. I'm still working on it, but my acne is still lurking in the shadows. Any tips for a July bride?

Ready to be Mrs. B! said...

i think all of us go through a journey to where we are comfortable in our skin (the good and the bad) and finally feel pretty. thank you for sharing this story. and i am so happy for you...for finding that amazing man who KNOWS you are beautiful, and for finally getting through the acne.

oh, and you DO have beautiful skin! when i first opened the post and saw the pict, i was instantly jealous!

Ready to be Mrs. B! said...

thank you for sharing this story! i am so happy for you...for finding an amazing man who KNOWS you are beautiful...and for coming through your acne battle stronger!

oh, and you DO have beautiful skin! when i first opened up the post (prior to reading it) i saw the picture and was instantly jealous!


@ WideEyedBride, what's really working for my skin is drinking a lot of water and my ritual of face wash, toner and then a gel as moisturizer. The creams or lotions on my face seem to make me a little more shiny and with oily skin I don't need any extras, lol. A good thing to do a few weeks leading up to the wedding are facials - a series of mircodermerbrasion sessions would be ideal. If you do decide to do the facials or microderms, start a few weeks before the wedding b/c as the impurities start to make their way to the surface you'll initially break out.

To everyone else: I'm glad that you appreciated or could relate to my story. We all have our little issues and I'm so glad I've found a forum to connect with people that I otherwise would never meet. WE are all BEAUTIFUL!!!! thanks for reading :)

Ashlyn Carter said...

what a beautiful post!!


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