I eat my feelings...

My friends father that I spoke briefly about in an earlier post, passed
away early this week. As soon as we could, we rushed over to be with them, and
it was an even more heart wrenching experience than when we had been in the ICU
with the entire family. I didn't know what to say to make them feel better, so all
I did was sit there and listen. Everytime I wanted to give them words of comfort, it just
wouldn't come out. What could I say? My husband on the other hand
talked with them and offered words of encouragement and behalf of the both of us.

The last funeral that I went to was my aunts in October 2007, who passed away of breast cancer.
That was the first time in my life that I had ever seen my father shed a tear - it was rough. I didn't
look at my aunt...I couldn't bare to have that be my last memory of her. The last time I
saw her was a few years earlier. I was in the car driving through downtown Kingston and happened
to see her in traffic - she had a big smile on her face during our short conversation - that's the
 last image that I wanted to have at her.

I started reliving the whole expereience again and so bothered that I found myself in the kitchen
baking late night when I should have been in my bed sleeping:
The jumbo sized cupcakes are for my husband. He never liked pastry
or any kind of cake - but ever since I've been baking, he can't get enough...
Oddly enough, baking has become like therapy, Whenever I get
stressed, I find myself in the kitchen whipping something together. I guess it's
a better alternative than my old method of chopping my hair off whenever things
took a bad turn...I'm going to have to learn better coping skills...
We only live once people - so have a good time!

3 comments :

The Little Fashion Treasury said...

Oh Jin, I´m so very sorry to hear for your friends Dad....

Nicole Peterson said...

Jin, sorry to hear about your friend's lost. I understand about baking being therapeutic. For me it is also an expression of my love and a way to offer comfort to the people around me. I am not one to usually want to eat my own baked goods, yet I find so much satisfaction in others eating it.

CURLY+NERDY said...

...baking is sooo theraputic, it really is. If only I had the will power like you to not eat everything, lol

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