i'm married to my husband...not my job

I've had a strong work ethic for as long as I can remember which is completly attributed to my parents and other family members. I had my first job when I was 13 years old making $125 per week at a hair salon where I swept hair, washed towels, answered phones and anything else that my boss asked of me. Throughout high school and college I worked retail in addition to starting my freelance makeup business in 2008. Now at 23, I'm married with a pile of bills and have found myself in what I always refer to as my "first grown up job". I make a decent salary, I have my own office and now that I just hit my 90 days, and I have  benefits.

However, now after these couple months of working there I have learned many lessons such as the fact that I need to work for myself. I have declared to myself that this is my last time working for anybody! I like my job for the most part, but I've been working myself into the ground - 12 hours days, sometimes 6 times a week - crazy stuff. Many times my boss would come into my office and tell me that in an effort to make our numbers, he'd like to offer overtime and would then ask if I wanted to work extra hours. Wanting to be the perfect employee, I would say "yes" without thinking about it. Often times this would cause a rift between my husband and I, because he would be making plans and I'd have to tell him I'm going to be working instead. I've always been the kind of person that put family first, and I didn't like what I was becoming. My cousins who I normally spent tons of time with would go weeks without seeing or hearing from me although we live 2 minutes away from each other. Something had to give.
I have no desire to be in this industry or move up in this company
As hard as this is going to be for me, I'm no longer going above and beyond for this job. Why am I pounding myself into the ground for something I'm not passionate about? I work for college...but my desire is fashion, beauty and events...I'm here to pay my bills. I'm not looking to get any deeper in the game. Frankly, the first opportunity I get to leave, I'll gladly take it. There are people at my job who are passionate about what they do, and go all out that's because they want a promotion - I'm not that person. I'm making my numbers and that's all I care about. I know exactly what I want to do, and am in the process of putting it together right now. I would love to keep this job just as my steady income but doing my own thing on the side until it can completly support me financially is my ultimate goal. What I want to do will allow me to make good money, while being able to spend time with my husband...and future child (whenever that happens ::que the suspense music::)

Overtime...eeeehhhh...let me think about it
Normally when my boss comes in and asks if I want to work extra hours, I say yes right away - no more. I need to come home and discuss it with my husband first. If he (or we) don't have anything planned, I don't mind working an extra day. But no longer will I cancel what I have planned to go to work. Plus, now that I'm in the process of putting my own thing together, I will need as much time as possible to devote to this. No matter how hard I work, I will never own my job or be able to pass it down to my kids - it's not mine. So in an effort to create MINE, I need the time that I'm not here to make that happen. Besides, spending time with my husband seems to be a luxury nowadays - spending an extra couple of hours with him after work or having a whole weekend to ourselves is rare...I will never let my job take away from him anymore.

The more you give, the more they take...and take...and take
The fact is, people will take advantage of you if you allow them too. These people don't expect you to have a life and if you go along with them, you won't. Sometimes my boss will tell me that it would great if I can stay later and I tell him, "That will be fine if you plan on driving me home because my ride will be here in 5 minutes." .... sometimes you have a get firm with these people!

Strangely enough, putting this to use actually has me performing better at work, because I'm not as stressed out as I normally am. I'm not putting as much pressure on myself, cutting my hours down a little more and sleeping better. Husband loves this because when I come home I don't pass out like I used to. Now we can cook together, watch some tv and sometimes go for a week before we go to bed.

No one can control you unless you allow them to. My job will definitely not be the boss of me!

6 comments :

Sn3akrFr3akr said...

Darn right! This is the exact reason I've been taking so many vacations. I work way too hard to be unable to enjoy the benefits of time off. You need some R&R, too. I'll watch the kids. ((Looks quickly at camera, que suspense music))

CURLY+NERDY said...

::GASPS AND CLUTHES PEARLS::

I BLEED PINK said...

I feel you on this one!!! I literally think you jumped in my brain when you wrote this posts. I look around at my co-workers who have been at the place for YEARS and feel bad for them. I think this is it for you and that just motivates me even more to try and get where I want to be in my career.

I just need to move closer and we can open up a makeup studio/bakery!!!

Eve said...

Makeup studio/bakery! :D That sounds dope.

Jin, I'm with you on this one, a strong work ethic is awesome, but not having enough time or quality time with the one you love isn't cool at all, not good for you or him. It'll be really helpful if you could keep a diary of all that makes you sick regarding this job and working for someone else, and then read it back when you are working for yourself and it happens to get a bit rough. I think it'll keep you forging on, because going back to the rat race would be disasterous.

Wishing you all the best with your plans, Big Hugs! ANd you and hubby were looking sensational on wedding day!

CURLY+NERDY said...

I know - I'm really loving those two things mixed together - pastry and makeup...those are my two favorite things - we may have to make that happen

Good idea Eve, I love that! When I get frustrated I can be reminded of why I went into business for myself in the first place - thanks for the suggestion

Marla said...

I hear what you're saying. The adult life can be hard with all its duties and obligations. Then we feel asphyxiated and stuck in the rat race, working to make others rich. I swear to you sometimes I feel like just running away to the woods to live from whatever I plant and handcraft! lol
Everything will be fine, you'll see.
Oh, by the way, I looove the pic, it looks vintage!!

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