on babies.

Good news | My car has finally made it's way to me from New York

Bad News | As my car had been parked on a street in Brooklyn for the past

couple of months, someone felt the need to steal my registration sticker off

my license plate...so I still can't drive it until that is taken care of...with

my job schedule, I don't know when that will be.

In any event, last night my cousin was nice enough to pick me up from work and as we were on the drive home with her husband in the car we somehow got on the topic of babies. We're just about the same age and have been married for around the same amount of time. She seems to be ready to get the motherhood train going, while I am stuck in limbo and haven't been giving it much thought at this point. Yes, one of my ultimate goals is to be a mother, however it's not top priority right this second. I've been married just about 6 months, and would like to atleast wait until after our 1st anniversary before we get into a heavy discussion about it.

I asked my cousin what she thinks of when she thinks of motherhood, her list went as follows:

• 
  
  Being in awe of a body growing inside of her
• 
  
  Singing to her child
• 
  
  Teaching her child The Word
• 
  
  Watching her child wake up everyday

As for me who had my little sister come into the world when I was 13, and have aided in raising her, my list went as follows:

• 
  
  An epidural needle being injected into my spine
• 
  
  The thought and image of a human being coming out of my vagina
• 
  
  The expen$$$$$$$$e
• 
  
  Not sleeping a night
• 
  
  Making sure my child develops properly
• 
  
  Hoping they're well adjusted when they start school
• 
  
  The tween phase (where my sister is now)...thinking they're a little bit more grown than they really are
• 
  
  Teenage years...and the rebellion that comes with it...not realy knowing what they're up to...and trust me no matter how much a parent thinks they know about their kid at this point...they have no idea...unless they read their diary or something like that...
• 
  
  Once they become adults...will they be a positive contributor to society?
• 
  
  ...and my list goes on from there
• 
  
  My number 1 reason is that I'm terrified of having a miscarriage...I repeat, terrified!

Once I was done reciting my list my cousin said that in 1 minute I had managed to completly distort her picture perfect imagery that she had in her head, lol. I didn't mean to - I promise...her husband thought it was hilarious. Yes, I'm  over analytical! I know! I have a problem, but because my mother is a single parent and my sister is growing up faster than I'd like to admit  - these are really all the things that flood my mind. I know it doesn't seem like it, but motherhood is something that I am really looking forward to whenever God thinks I'm ready. I just need to mentally prepare myself because my thoughts are getting the best of me. However, I know that I'm going to have to get over it, because according to my husbands secret plan (that is not so secret), I will more than likely be pregnant by this time next year.

a new chapter | the big move

Saturday was one of most my most hectic days in a long time. We woke up before the sun was fully up to finish up some last minute packing. By the time we knew it, it was time to throw everything in the van and make our way to the leasing office. I was so excited to get the key and as we drove to the townhouse, the excitement was building up. All of us literally jumped out the van and ran to the door - husband turned the key and the next thing I knew, my mom, sister, cousin, the husband and myself were all running around like crazy people.

It's much bigger than I remember! And although we didn't end up getting an upgraded unit, I'm quite pleased with what we have. In addition to unpacking, I then had to go to work for a few hours and then come back home to finish up. We brought things over in intervals because I hate seeing brown boxes all over the place - all boxes had to be empty by the time we went to bed that night - and they were.

We've enjoyed our first weekend here, as did Lil Sis who spent the first 2 nights here with us. I'm looking forward to the memories that we'll create here - I'm very excited about this next chapter...

mothers day.

I worked a total of 57 hours last week, so I was barely able to keep my eyes open this past Sunday. However, since I have the most incredible mother on the planet, I forced myself to roll out of bed to spend the day with her. First up was breakfast! Her breakfast wishlist included whole wheat pancakes which I am horrible at making. My husband and I even got in a full blown argument about the consistancy of the batter until my mom got so fed up that she made her own breakfast.

I squeezed in a nap, and before I knew it dinner time was upon us. Usually we have a huge Mothers Day dinner which can consist of up to 30 people, but this year it was just mom, my sister, the husband and myself.

I squeezed in another nap, and by 9pm, we ended up at Cousin Kim + Cousin Jan's apartment for some dessert, jokes and of course a beauty parlor session. Someone always ends up getting their hair or eyebrows done in the presence of those two.

Disclaimer | I apoligize for my appearance in the photos below...I was soooo tired! lol

I'm so proud of my cousins and their fabulous apartment + they did an amazing job hosting last night!

The jokes were endless, there were some awkward moments and of course the cake! We all had a great time. Although this Mothers Day wasn't as massive as the ones in the past, I believe this was one of my moms favorites over the years - it was very low key with only our nearest and dearest. To think, 2 Mothers Days ago, my boyfriend dropped to his knees and asked me to marry him - damn time flys!

HOW DID YOU SPEND YOUR MOTHERS DAY?