19.1 MANGO PAINS

Dear Addy,

While everyone was out BBQ'ing for Memorial Day, I was in bed coughing all day, fighting the same headache that I had since Sunday and being grossed out by my swollen feet. My cough is terrible! It's very loud and painful for me. Sometimes I get into cough spells where I can't even catch my breath and Daddy has to run to the kitchen to get me water. I slept horrible last night. I'd be peacefully for a couple minutes, only to be interrupted by my cough which would wake up Daddy as well. Not to mention, it's so hot all of a sudden! Daddy went to buy a fan for our bedroom only to realize that Costco was closed for the holiday once he got there.

This week you're the size of a mango and I sure can tell. My lower abdomen has been feeling uncomfortable all day - this is a sign of you growing and stretching my ligaments. Anytime I get this feeling it reminds me of the beginning when I didn't know I was pregnant and thought these stomach cramps meant something else - now it doesn't scare me as much - it's actually called ROUND LIGAMENT PAIN.

After work today, Daddy and I will be heading over to the laundry mat in preparation to go to Florida this weekend. I hate laundry mats and I can't understand why barely any apartments in New York have a washer and dryer - or atleast have the hookup available to give you the option of buying one yourself. Why should it be a luxury to be able to wash your clothes in your own house? I don't get it!

18.5 Cousin Khlo Khlo's 2nd Birthday

Dear Addi,

This past Saturday was your cousin Khloe's 2nd birthday party!

The weather suddenly turned hot this weekend and I had nothing to wear to save my life. Luckily Daddy bought me few maternity bottoms the other day and I was able to wear one with a white tank, in hopes that your aunt Nic would have a shirt for me to borrow. Even worse, my feet couldn't fit in any of my shoes! I didn't even notice my feet being swollen!

After a frustrating hour we headed to Brooklyn to pick up the cake. We don't have AC in our car, and the trimming on the cake ended up melting into a complete mess by the time we got to Long Island. I felt so horrible and knew that Auntie Nic would be dissappointed...and she was. I made the suggestion of going to the supermarket to see if they could make something really quick and luckily they were able to...mainly because I told the sad story about the cake.

Before we knew it guests started arriving and it turned into a full blown kid fest in a matter of minutes!  Auntie Nic even had a bounce house and magician for the kids - I'm not too sure who had the most fun, the kids or the parents. There was lots of candy and snacks and amazing goody bags for the children to take home. Auntie Nic did an amazing job on the decor, even making the balloon arch by herself - I can't wait to see what she puts together for your Baby Shower.

Throughout the party I couldn't help but to think that next year you'll be here for Khloe's birthday and you'll be one of the many babies in attendance. Daddy and talked about the fact that being at that party was like looking into our future, as our lives will now consists of birthday parties and other children related events like these. Everyone there was married, had children or was pregnant - as out of place as I felt (because I'm still adjusting), I also felt as though I belonged and it made me think about the friendships that I have. I sometimes feel as though I have nothing in common with my friends anymore and I can't help but wonder how this will all play out once you arrive and I willingly change my priorities. I guess only time will tell.

We love you Addi.

18.2: FEVER!

Dear Addi,

Your mom is stuck at home with a fever today :( I think this is largely in part to the random change of weather we've been having in New York. One day it's in the 50's...then it's raining...then it's 80 degrees - all in one week. I felt a sore throat coming on at work yesterday, so I knew it was coming.

Yesterday was strange - my mood changed frequently throughout the day just like the weather has been. At the top of the morning I was freaking out about your arrival as I do quite often. My biggest fear as your mother is that I won' t be able to give you the life that you deserve. I always worry about how I'm going to be able to provide you with the best life possible and sometimes it gets the best of me. Then I received two phone calls from the hospital wanting to know what was going on with my insurance - or rather lack there of. I found out I was pregnant about 2 weeks after starting my new job and they don't offer insurance until after 6 months. Daddys will kick in sooner than mine but as of now all my visit bills are outstanding and they wanted to know how I would be paying. They've told me about a program that I can apply for that will help us out - but nonetheless, it added to my stress.

Things got a little better when I got on the phone with one of my credit card companies - most people aren't happy when they call, but I was looking forward to closing this chapter. After a few minutes of discussion, they decided that they would settle with me for a reasonable amount that will take me only 3 short payments. I'm going to be so excited on the day that I make that last payment. My goal is to be debt-free by the time you arrive - well, I'll still have my ridiculous amount to pay back in student loans but I'm working hard to clear everything else up.

Towards the end of the work day at our town hall meeting, I was presented with the TOP SALES AGENT OF WEEK AWARD. This is the 2nd time I've won it since starting this job! Although it's not that serious and just a certificate, it brightened up my day a little. I felt even better when after the meeting I realized that I only had 15 minutes of left of the work day :)

Once I got home I really started feeling sick and went to bed early only to wake up with a fever and now I'm watching CSI!

I supposed it's time to roll out of bed now - seems like you're ready to eat :)

as if u didn't already know I was obsessed...

i love this girls style.

via Who What Wear

back on 17.8 | BBQ ON THE "DAY OF RAPTURE"

Dear Addi,

As strange as this sounds, the world was supposed to come an end on Saturday May 21st at 6pm - this according to some fanatic religious man who scammed thousands if not millions into following him. But because I believe in God and not man, I didn't buy into this at all. On Saturday morning Daddy got his haircut while I went to get my hair done for the first time in months. Afterwards, I headed out to Long Island to attend a bbq with my bestfriends to celebrate a graduation. The funny thing about it is that despite the weather being beautiful all day, at exactly 6pm the clouds rolled in and it started to rain - everyone started joking that the rapture was really coming, lol. Atleast our bellies would have been full and we were surrounded by friends :)

There was so much food and despite me wanting to eat everything, I just had a hot dog and mac & cheese. At this point in my pregnancy my meals have to be small or ... ya know... As usual, the girls and I talked about you a lot - everyone is so excited to meet you! If you're a boy, I'm sure you won't mind being surrounded by beautiful ladies & if you're a girl you'll have an abundance of amazing women as role models. Either way you're going to be surrounded by so much love.

LOVE,

MOMMY

18.0: my sweet potato

Dear Addi,

You're officially 18 weeks today and apparently the size of a sweet potato! Every week as you grow, Daddy and I always read the baby book to find out your length so that we can measure the ruler and see exactly how big you are. I've learned that at this point you're rolling around, kicking, twisting, yawning and punching in my belly - I should be able to start feeling your movements pretty soon - I can't wait!

Daddy wasn't able to make it in for work today so I got to spend some time with him this morning. I had some baked zitti that I decided to have for breakfast instead of dinner (lol) and you weren't a fan of that idea. Thankfully, Daddy was there to help me out in the bathroom and then took me to Dunkin' Donuts for breakfast instead. Although I don't have morning sickness frequently, I've been experiencing it more frequently during my 2nd trimester than the 1st - I guess you're no longer shy about what you don't want to eat since you wouldn't let me finish dinner either.

17.3: everything coming up roses...

Dear Addi,

My co-workers are starting to notice you now. I usually wear more flowly tops (not to hide you, but I always like to be comfy) but when I wore a tank today people started taking notice. You didn't give me any trouble today, no back pains, no leg pain and no nausea - but I'm starting to feel REALLY pregnant now. The nurse told me that I've only gained 2 lbs so far, but I feel much heavier and run of breath doing the most simple things.

When I picked up Daddy from the bus stop today he had this rose waiting for me:

As loving as your Dad is, he's not big on receiving or giving surprises - even small ones - so I was very touched at this small token of his love. I can't wait for you to meet one another, he's going to love you to pieces!

WE LOVE YOU ADDI.

17.2: Brown Paper Bag

Dear Addi,

This morning I decided to head to Dunkin' Donuts to get some breakfast before work. I decided on the Bacon, Egg and Cheese on a bagel with hashbrowns as well as reduced fat Blueberry Muffin that I nibble on between meals. I usually eat breakfast at my desk, but with sometime to spare, I chose to stay in the car and enjoy my food in silence. The Bacon, Egg & Cheese tasted different today. It wasn't real egg, it was some sort of spongey thing. I didn't like it and apparantly you didn't either because before I knew it, I had to grab the empty Dunkin' Donuts bag and....well, you know what happens next. We obviously won't be eating that sandwich again but I'm quickly learning that you may be as picky of an eater as I am. As much as I enjoy food, things I once loved to eat are no longer appealing or make me feel nauseus - I feel like I'm running out of things to eat.

Speaking of eating, Grandpa dropped off fish for me to have today for lunch. Mommy is not a big fan of fish! With nothing else to eat, I tried it...it was pretty good...

I was experiencing frequent shortness of breath today - kind of scary! Whenever this would happen I'd try to relax and take some deep breaths to feel better. My body has been going through lots of strange changes since you've came into my life, but I know it' going to be well worth it.

17.1: Heartbeat

Dear Addi,

Daddy and I finally got to hear your heartbeat yesterday. We really wanted to hear it at the previous appointment, but the nurse told us that it would be too faint and we'd barely hear anything. I was so disappointed to have to wait another month, but it was well worth it. Speaking of wait...we had to wait a whole hour for the nurse to call us in at the doctors office yesterday - I was about to lose it! What's the point of making an appointment? Besides, I knew I had to give blood and the anticipation was killing me.

Finally we were called in and the woman asked if I wanted to do blood work prior to seeing the doctor, or if I wanted to make another appointment. Daddy and I agreed that I should get it out the way, so I made the walk of doom to the lab and sat in the chair. Daddy has to hold my hand every time I give blood - I hate needles! The nurse couldn't find my vein and when she finally did, I started pulling my arm away and then she couldn't find it anymore, lol. She went over to my right arm and found one and I bit Daddy on the hand as she stuck the needle in my vein, lol - he was very mad at me...I promise I didn't mean to bite that hard.

After that nightmare was over, we headed back to the examination room where as usually your dad scared the nurse as she opened the door. Everytime we go for a check up he messes with her - but at least she knows she'll be entertained whenever we're there :)

As usual, she pressed down around my lower abdomen to find you and make sure you're okay - I hate this part, it's very umcomfortable...and you don't seem to like it much either. Daddy yelled out, "Don't hurt me" in a baby voice pretending to be you...Nurse Carolina thought that was hilarious.

All of a sudden she rubbed some gel on my tummy and started moving this weird little thing around that area. We started hearing some weird noises and it finally clicked in my head what was happening. She kept moving the machine and seemed like it was taking her forever you find you. I had to be about two minutes, but it felt like two hours. Being the paranoid individual that I am, of course I started panicking in my mind and assumed that something was wrong and started playing some weird and heartbreaking scenarios in my head. Then - there you were with a perfect heartbeat going at the right pace. In my mind I kept thinking, "Oooooh God, there's really a person in there...this is real".

Being pregnant is a little strange for me. Of course I am happy and beyond excited to hold you in my arms, but my mind still can't comprehend that this is really happening and that you're a real person...or that you're growing inside of me. Over the weekend Daddy took me shopping for some maternity pants, things kind of started hitting me in the dressing room when I stopped to think about what I was doing...but to hear your heartbeat was surreal and beautiful.

Can't wait to meet you Addi.

LOVE,

MOMMY

a blog for addi

Dear Addi,
About 2 days after finding out you would soon make your debut into this world, I started keeping a journal for you to capture the experience leading up to your birth and beyond. Unfortunately, the thought and action of writing in a book with pen in hand has become somewhat foreign to me, sad I know. Instead I've decided to create a blog for you. I'm sure you'll enjoy this more when you're older, since I can include pictures and other visuals. I will do my best to write to you everyday and hopefully at some point when you're older, you'll be interested in reading this. If not, this will be my time capsule to reminisce on these special moments.

You may be asking why we refer to you as "Addi". Daddy and I wanted to come up with a unisex name that we can call you since we don't know if you're a girl or boy as yet.

• 
  
  Grandpa used to refer to you as "The Fetus"...but we thought you deserved a real name
• 
  
  Auntie Barbara started calling you "Jojo Bugatti" but Daddy said that was ghetto
• 
  
  And then finally we settled on Addi, a shorter version of our last name

We're dying for the next 3 weeks to fly by so we can find out what sex you are, and more imporatantly, we can't wait to meet you :)

17.0 these damn headaches!

I've been getting the worse headaches since I've been pregnant! I don't get them often, but when I do, it lasts all damn day. Right now the entire back of my head is killing me from ear to ear! All my doctor is going to do is tell me to take Tylenol, so I'm not even going to bother calling them.

I have another appointment tomorrow to do more blood work (tears) and I should FINALLY be able to hear Babys heartbeat - I'm sure that will make up for the needles.

Wish me luck!

oh my gosh...I'm gonna be a mom!

I'm 4 months in and I think it's finally starting to hit me that my life has officially changed forever. With my tummy now protruding, sciatica, constant fatigue,the occasional morning sickness and the fact that I can no longer button the pants that I wore to work last week - reality is hitting me like a ton of bricks. I've always wanted to be a mother, and while I welcome this change, I can't help but to wonder what exactly these changes will be. How with my relationship with my husband evolve? Will I have the same group of friends? How will our finances change? Are we going to be good parents?

It's crazy how life changes. This time last year we were settling into our new apartment in Florida, I had my own office at work - I never thought I'd be back in New York again and I wasn't really thinking of starting a family as yet. But here I am in the Big Apple again, and on that freezing Sunday evening, after much denial, I took a home pregnancy test and everything changed that instant the screen read PREGNANT. I should share that store soon - it's quite funny!

I know life throws curve balls at us, but I'm a firm believer in the saying "If you don't plan, you plan to fail". I'm working towards being debt free by the time Baby gets here...well, with the exception of my enormous student loans (damn you Sallie Mae) - everything else should be cleared up. I've been working like a mad man on my business so that I can have the same or greater income when I go on maternity leave...and so that I can leave New York again. As much as I love New York, I realize that I don't want to live here permanently anymore - visiting is fine - but I'd like my kids to be able to play outside, go to the beach and do outdoor activities all year round. It could also be the fact that I'm becoming a mother now, I want to live close to my mother again, so returning to Florida is something I'd eventually like to do.

By the way, Mothers Day was strange. Some people told me Happy Mothers Day, some said Happy Mommy To Be Day, some said they couldn't wait till next year to tell me Happy Mothers Day and some people were just confused on what to do...I thought it was hilarious since I was confused myself. It was weird to hear Happy Mothers Day for the first time, not because the baby isn't here yet...but because I'm not used to being referred to as a mom as yet, lol...guess I better get used to it :)

A CUPCAKE CRAVING!

Goodness! Week 15 is almost up and I haven't taken a photo as yet :( I'm home from work today after waking up with a weird cramp in my abdomen. After taking it easy and drinking lots of water (seems that's what the problem was) I'm starting to feel alot better.

Yesterday I had my first crazy pregnant woman moment. My co-worker brought in some amazing mini cupcakes earlier this week and I almost passed out after trying the Red Velvet. I couldn't stop thinking about the cupcakes, and after work yesterday, I just had to have one. I called my co-worker and had her give me directions, which resulted in me actually turning my car around to go in the opposite direction. Not only did I get lost a couple times, my gas tank was just about empty and I was nowhere near home. After finally finding the place, I realize I have no quaters to pay the meter, but was so intent on getting those cupcakes that I ran into the store anyway - only to find it was closed. I'm so serious when I tell you I was getting ready to cry. Luckily for me, after the owner saw my incredibly sad face, she let me in and I thanked her a million times.

She was so nice and even told me how cute my baby bump was, lol...I'm still getting used to that. This is my new obsession and I have to let my sister know that my baby shower cake must be from this cakeshop!

I can't say that I've had anyy specific cravings so far in my pregnancy - but I HAD to have those cupcakes yesterday!

Did you or anyone you know have any crazy cravings when they were pregnant?

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