Tampa & Struggles

This time last week we randomly found ourselves on a road trip to Tampa. There's nothing I live for more than spontaneity these days, so I pretty much invited myself and got a day out the house.
 
After months of tediously filling out ridiculously long applications and drafting cover letter only to not get any response besides the occasional rejection letter, I'm over it. Seriously, it's not good for my self esteem. After my rant to a friend, she replied, "the rejection is not a reflection of your awesomeness". I know this to be true, but like most 20 somethings, I'm still trying to figure out where I belong and achieve the dreams that I have for myself. While it can be a draining to constantly have doors slammed in my face, I know that I haven't gained employment at these places for a reason. While I try to figure out what that reason is, and take a little break from the job search game, I've decided to really embrace being a stay at home mom (while still planning for world domination of course).
 
I've come to realize that whenever I get really down and negative it's because I'm looking at all the things that I want but haven't acquired, and my failures, as opposed to being grateful for what I do have. I'm trying to find somewhere in the middle of being content and grateful while still having goals and dreams. Does that place exist? How do I get there?
 
That's my current struggle.

love,
Jin

4 comments :

Stefany Mari ❤ said...

First of all, you look amazing! Second, your son is too freakin' adorable.

But this right here spoke to me: ..."but like most 20 somethings, I'm still trying to figure out where I belong and achieve the dreams that I have for myself." I think most of us can relate to that. I know I sure do. But honestly, I think if you did the best you could do as far as applying to those places, it just means there is something bigger and better out there for you. Maybe something you haven't even thought of yet. Maybe you are supposed to be using this time to prepare for an amazing future opportunity. Honestly, who knows until you get there. But in the mean time, don't be so hard on yourself. Don't ever let those negative thoughts defeat you! God's purposes are always on time, love.

XOXO

Carla said...

Jin,

Trust me, I've been there. I've read rejection email after rejection email and like you, it did take a little toll on my self-esteem. But then God started working.. right when I was down to the last bit in my savings account and I began my career in the field in which I obtained my degree. It was the second time that I had applied for the position. The first time was for entry level and I never heard anything back. And that hurt. It hurt me to my core. But I was called to come for another interview.. and I was hired as a professional hire with a much larger salary. There's a reason why all of this is happening.. because there is something so great for you. You have to believe that there is something great for you.

Brown English Muffin said...

I simply loved my time at being a stay at home mom when I got laid off for the 1st 9 months I didn't even look for work I just enjoyed every day. When Baby C finally went back to school that's when I started..and like you I struggled with not getting any responses back but deep down inside I knew god had a plan for me and that I wasn't in control though I thought I was.

I hope you find the strength soon to just let god guide you.

(JIN) Love, Loss & Lacquer said...

ladies! thank you so much for your input - I know that there is something meant for me that I can't see as yet. Instead of complaining I'm going to wait patiently for it and trust in the Lord, thank you so much for sharing your experiences with me :)

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE THESE POSTS

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...